Exploratory Essay

Melis Jones

Ms. McKoy

English 2 Block 1

September 11, 2013

The Unwanted Relationship

            Imagine what you would do if you were raped.  If you became pregnant from that rape, what would you do if that man wanted visitation rights? This exact same issue is going on in Massachusetts. In 2009, 20 year old Jamie Melendez raped a 14-year-old girl and impregnated her.  Four years later, he is seeking visitation rights to that child since he is the baby’s father. The court ordered a 16 year long unwanted relationship. Doesn’t that sound absurd? Thirty-Two states have the right to give visitation rights to a rapist.(CNN) The state should not make this decision, it should be left up to the mother/victim of the rape. A man should not be able to have visitation rights without the permission of the woman. That lady would be stuck with an unwanted relationship between the man who caused the woman to suffer with pain and all the other effects that rape has on someone.

            Being raped can have a strong and negative effect on a woman’s life. According to the article “The Mental Health Impact of Rape” by Dean G. Kilpatrick, Ph. D,  3.8 million American females have had rape-related Post Traumatic Stress Disorder or PTSD. This quote helps my topic because it proves that rape can have an effect on a lot of women. Rape is one of the highest causes for mental disorders. An article by the Rape, Abuse and Incest National Records (RAINN) states that Rape has numerous effects on a woman. “Some effects include PTSD, sleep disorders, substance abuse, self-harm/injury eating disorders, Stockholm syndrome, body memories, depression, dissociative identity disorder, STD, suicide, pregnancy, and flashbacks.” Being raped causes all these problems alone and a lot more. If rape has this much effect, imagine the effect if that woman had to see the man who raped her on a regular base. The article by the Rape, Abuse and Incest National Records (RAINN)  also talks about how the body specifically handles the rape. They say that it can have an effect on the woman’s self esteem because most people feel embarrassed, ashamed, dirty, and confused. The woman is worried that people will find out that they were raped, especially people outside the family. The article also states that it can have a big effect on their sexual lives especially if that was their first experience ever. The article, “The Mental Health Impact of Rape” by Dean G. Kilpatrick, Ph. D, states that most people will be too scared to ever get involved with a relationship that is that serious. The most important piece of information that I got out of the article “The Mental Health Impact of Rape” by Dean G. Kilpatrick, Ph. D, was that the effects can last over 20 years. With that statement, it supports why a rapist should not have visitation rights to a baby he produced during rape because if that woman has to see that man every day, she would have a harder time and longer time getting over the rape.

  Since my topic is so strongly debatable, I decided to get information on how not having a father can have an effect on a child’s life. An article “The importance of Fathers in Healthy Development of Children” by The Child Welfare Information Gateway says that “Fathers have a direct impact on the well-being of their children.” I feel that even though this can have a strong effect on the child, it would have a worse effect for the woman, and for that kid to grow up and know that he was the child of a rapist and that he was not even supposed to be born can emotionally damage them. There are alternatives to the rapist not being his father. The lady’s dad, brother, boyfriend, or significant other can have almost the same effect on the child than having a biological father around the house. This same article said that having a good relationship with husband and wife will positively impact the behavior, but if the mom and dad are not having a good relationship with each other there would be no point in even having a relationship in trying to make the child a better person. It would instead make them a worse person because children grow up and learn based on what their parents taught them when they were little and what they saw growing up as a kid.  

            I would like to learn more on the effects of rape have on the woman by going into each disorder/effect that rape has on a woman to support my thesis, If a lady is impregnated during rape, should the man get visitation rights to see the baby? Even if that baby is his child, no woman should have to go through the struggle of having an unwanted relationship with the man who raped her. The state should not have a right either to force a man on a woman without her opinion. The woman would most likely still be having going through the effects on the rape, and giving the right of visitation would only make it worse than it needs to be.

Works Cited

Rosenberg, Jeffery, and Bradford W. Wilcox. "The Importance of Fathers in the Healthy Developement of Children." Child Welfare. N.p., 2006. Web. 28 Aug. 2013. <www.childwelfare.gov/pubs/usermanuals/fatherhood/chaptertwo.cfm>.

"Effects of Sexual Assult." Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network, n.d. Web. 28 Aug. 2013. <http://www.rainn.org/get-information/effects-of-sexual-assult>.

Kilpatrick, Dean G., Ph.D. "The Mental Health Impact of Rape." Medical University of South Carolina. N.p., 2000. Web. 28 Aug. 2013. <http://www.musc.edu/vawprevention/research/mentalimpact.shtml.>.